Alternatives Help with Parental Control
Jean Piaget – Father of Child Psychology
Many parents will be only too familiar with this problem. Your child is doing something that is potentially dangerous, or annoying, and when you try to stop them they throw a tantrum.
The way in whcih parents deal with these sometimes frequent situations is one of the biggest trials that they must face. Positive parenting involving tolerance and lots of praise is well known to contribute toward the development of social competence and self confidence. But parents always need to remain in charge.
The typical toddler will, on average, face up to 20 restrictions on their activities every hour. How would you like to be told what to do or what not to do once every three minutes?
Parental control is often needed when a child is doing what comes naturally but putting themselves or their peers at risk in the process. Putting a sharp metal knife in their mouths, fighting or poking one another in the eyes are all common examples of how children will test boundaries while investigating the world around them.
Giving the child an alternative can be an excellent way to allow them to continue to safely investigate and learn. You may, for example, sway the metal knife for a safe spoon or maybe a plastic knife. Or get them to poke themselves in the eye so that they know how much it can hurt.
Using alternatives can be a great way to effectively avoid tantrums, but they don’t always work. It’s a good idea to first acknowledge what the child is trying to do and then introduce them to the alternative. Engage the child with the alternative by making it appear more attractive than whatever it was the child was doing before.
There will be plenty of occasions when you will not be in a position or able to offer alternatives and these will serve to educate your child that the world has its limits. Providing yourr children with appealing alternatives to dangerous or harmful behavior can be a great way to develop a positive relationship and teach them that other options often exist.
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I recommend camping as a great way to bond with children, to provide them with freedom to investigate the world around them and engage with their parents or carers. But always remember to ensure safety by using the right camping equipment. You may like to take part in a bushcraft course where children will learn a variety of skills including how to handle a bushcraft knife, start a fire without matches and tracking skills.
